For many people, the “most wonderful time of the year” is anything but. In fact, according to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 89 percent of Americans experience stress and feelings of being overwhelmed during the holiday season for many reasons. Creativity and optimism can be employed to mitigate these challenges.

Each month I facilitate Wisdom Circles at Larksfield Place, a senior living facility. In December, I asked members of the circle to reminisce and share how they had made the best of challenges during past holidays. One 93-year-old told the group that one Christmas in St. Louis, her husband’s company had gone on strike and they didn’t have money for Christmas gifts.  All three children needed the most basic clothing, so she purchased 3 pairs of socks for each of the children and wrapped each sock in a different size box.  When she was finished wrapping the socks, she had six gifts for each child to place under the tree that they had cut down that they had found in a vacant lot down the street. 

Another resident shared that when she was a child, her mother was very sick during the months leading up to the holidays. Just before Christmas, her mother had to be taken from where they lived in Southeast Kansas to Joplin, Missouri for lifesaving surgery.  The girl had made friends with a neighbor, and she shared with him that her family would not be having Christmas that year. A few hours later the neighbor came to the door with a small fir tree and upon welcoming him in, the gentleman placed the tree in a corner of the living room and without a tree stand, nailed the tree to the wall.  She gathered her brother and sister into the room, and they began to construct handmade ornaments. By the time they were finished decorating the tree, their mother returned home from the hospital. She had received the necessary treatment and was in recovery – the best gift the children could have received.

So how can we make it “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”  Ten tips from the December 13, 2023 issue of Mental Health are:

Don’t overschedule yourself - be OK with not saying yes to every event and gathering during the holiday season.

Simplify Travel & Limit car time – if travel is stressful for you, keep it short and manageable.

Manage gift giving – set limits on how much is going to be spent on each person or limit who will receive gifts.

Be responsible about food & alcohol consumption – adhere to a reduced amount of alcohol or have a dry holiday season and don’t overdo on the food.

Enjoy family on your terms – set guidelines of what is going to be allowed in the family and friend conversations during gatherings and if it becomes necessary, have those engaged in strenuous conversations take a walk outside or move to different parts of the gathering space.

Respect differences – agree to disagree for the holidays or don’t engage.

Take time for yourself – quiet time for yourself for meditation, prayer or a calm walk with nature.

Honor the losses of the year – celebrate those that have left our world and have time for fond remembrance.

Don’t forget routine maintenance (working out) – take time for yourself to take care of yourself.

Reach out if you need help – If you have a therapist or trusted friend that you lean on throughout the year, lean in a little more to help you through the stresses of the holiday season.

A beautiful quote from W.C. Jones says it all, “The joy of brightening others’ lives, bearing each other’s burdens, easing each other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.”  Consider doing something for others - it can brighten your holiday or any day!