Many people who have entered the “Golden Years” wonder out loud: “what is so golden about getting older?” One of those people is my father, Howard, who, when asked how he was doing by one of the staff at his retirement facility, stated “I really don’t see any gold in my golden years!”

According to a Harvard study, researchers found that “Good genes are nice, but joy is better.” While facilitating Life Enrichment Wisdom Circles on the topic of “Finding Joy in Elderhood” at Larksfield Place, several of the wise elders who attended found joy recalling things in the past. They recalled getting married, giving birth to a son and spending 60 years with the same spouse. Other joyful memories included graduating college after returning to the university at the age of 40, entering the hall of fame at the Wichita Aviation Museum and a granddaughter’s graduation from college.

When sharing their wisdom about what brings joy to life currently (there were over 1,708 years of life experience in the circles), several of the wise elders shared that visits and calls from children, grandchildren and friends brought them joy, and others identified making new friends at Larksfield Place as joy-bringers. One participant shared that she experiences joy by waking up early and watching the sun rise every morning.

I am currently experiencing joy along with the residents of Independent Living at Larksfield Place. WSU’s Freshman Seminar Connecting Generations students interview the elders about their lives from childhood through current times. The look of joy on the elders’ faces as they walk through their life history is joyful and uplifting for both the elders, the students and the instructors.

David Whyte, in his book Consolations writes “Joy is the act of giving ourselves away before we are asked to, Joy is practiced generosity.” One couple shared that it has given them great joy recently by making a donation and another resident shared that she experiences joy by learning everyone’s name and greeting them with a smile at each encounter and saying their name. Larksfield has implemented a program where the Independent Living residents can volunteer throughout the campus and one of the residents shared that he really enjoys it.

Whether it is giving of your time by volunteering or practicing generosity, what brings you joy in your life? Being a part of Larksfield Place Life Enrichment brings me great joy… consider sharing your joyful moments with me by email or text. It would bring me joy to hear your stories of what brings you joy!

For many people, the “most wonderful time of the year” is anything but. In fact, according to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, 89 percent of Americans experience stress and feelings of being overwhelmed during the holiday season for many reasons. Creativity and optimism can be employed to mitigate these challenges.

Each month I facilitate Wisdom Circles at Larksfield Place, a senior living facility. In December, I asked members of the circle to reminisce and share how they had made the best of challenges during past holidays. One 93-year-old told the group that one Christmas in St. Louis, her husband’s company had gone on strike and they didn’t have money for Christmas gifts.  All three children needed the most basic clothing, so she purchased 3 pairs of socks for each of the children and wrapped each sock in a different size box.  When she was finished wrapping the socks, she had six gifts for each child to place under the tree that they had cut down that they had found in a vacant lot down the street. 

Another resident shared that when she was a child, her mother was very sick during the months leading up to the holidays. Just before Christmas, her mother had to be taken from where they lived in Southeast Kansas to Joplin, Missouri for lifesaving surgery.  The girl had made friends with a neighbor, and she shared with him that her family would not be having Christmas that year. A few hours later the neighbor came to the door with a small fir tree and upon welcoming him in, the gentleman placed the tree in a corner of the living room and without a tree stand, nailed the tree to the wall.  She gathered her brother and sister into the room, and they began to construct handmade ornaments. By the time they were finished decorating the tree, their mother returned home from the hospital. She had received the necessary treatment and was in recovery – the best gift the children could have received.

So how can we make it “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?”  Ten tips from the December 13, 2023 issue of Mental Health are:

Don’t overschedule yourself - be OK with not saying yes to every event and gathering during the holiday season.

Simplify Travel & Limit car time – if travel is stressful for you, keep it short and manageable.

Manage gift giving – set limits on how much is going to be spent on each person or limit who will receive gifts.

Be responsible about food & alcohol consumption – adhere to a reduced amount of alcohol or have a dry holiday season and don’t overdo on the food.

Enjoy family on your terms – set guidelines of what is going to be allowed in the family and friend conversations during gatherings and if it becomes necessary, have those engaged in strenuous conversations take a walk outside or move to different parts of the gathering space.

Respect differences – agree to disagree for the holidays or don’t engage.

Take time for yourself – quiet time for yourself for meditation, prayer or a calm walk with nature.

Honor the losses of the year – celebrate those that have left our world and have time for fond remembrance.

Don’t forget routine maintenance (working out) – take time for yourself to take care of yourself.

Reach out if you need help – If you have a therapist or trusted friend that you lean on throughout the year, lean in a little more to help you through the stresses of the holiday season.

A beautiful quote from W.C. Jones says it all, “The joy of brightening others’ lives, bearing each other’s burdens, easing each other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.”  Consider doing something for others - it can brighten your holiday or any day!

How many people do you know who were “lost” after retirement? Are you one of them? Did your career define your purpose in life?

Upon retirement from a 45-year medical career at the age of 64, I was blessed to know exactly what I was going to do: my next purpose. But I’ve discovered that many people don’t have a clue what to do next in life. They haven’t found that next purpose. Dr. Roger Landry sums this up very nicely when he states in his book, Live Long, Die Short: “Without a purpose, we are like a ship without a course, without a compass.” Let’s look at a few wonderful examples of people who have found a purpose in their lives.

During the time I spent last month in Life Enrichment Wisdom Circles with the wise elders at Larksfield Place in Wichita, Kansas, I learned first hand what it means to have a purpose as we gain more years of life experience. One of the eldest individuals (102 years of life experience) shared with their group “My purpose is to get up every morning, get dressed and start my day!”

According to the Oxford Language Dictionary, purpose is the reason something is done or created, or for which something exists. During another Wisdom Circle, one of the wise elders shared that her purpose in life is to come alongside the other residents and assist them in any way she can. One of the ways she helps every morning is to take the schedule of the daily activities around to each resident’s room, so they know about the wonderful activities they can take part in throughout the day.

What is your main purpose in life? How are you living that purpose? What will be your purpose in life in the future and how will you fulfill it? One of the participants shared, “My purpose has evolved over the years and continues to evolve even today.” His take on a purposeful life is to embrace new opportunities that make a difference for others. Mother Teresa, one of the most incredible servants of all time, summed up a purposeful life nicely when she said, “The purpose of life is to find your mission and fulfill it.”

A guest participant in one of our Wisdom Circles, Jermaine Pennington, shared a quote from his soon-to-be- published book Pathways to Purpose: “Moreover, intergeneration living with purpose strengthens social bonds and builds a supportive network that benefits all age groups. Such interactions combat age-related isolation and loneliness by fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging.”

Facilitating the Life Enrichment Wisdom Circles at Larksfield Place with so many wise elders is one of the newest purposes in my life and I have been truly blessed to be a part of the lives of the people who live in these communities. In an upcoming blog post, I’ll offer some resources for ways to help you find your purpose.

If you would like to know more about Life Enrichment Wisdom Circles at Larksfield Place, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..